Saturday, July 24

Vagaries of English Language!

Vagaries of English Language! Enjoy.!!!😀

•Wonder why the word "Funeral" starts with FUN?

•Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?

•How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

•If Money doesn't grow on Trees, how come Banks have Branches?

•If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

•How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

•Why are goods sent by *Ship* called CARGO, and those sent by *Truck* SHIPMENT?

•Why do we put cups in the "Dishwasher" and the dishes in the "Cupboard"?

•Why do Doctors "Practice" Medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

•Why is it called "Rush Hour" when traffic moves at its slowest then?

•How come Noses run and Feet smell?

•Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

•What are you vacating when you go on a "Vacation"?

We can never find the answers
Can we❓

If you have the *Spirit* of understanding everything in a positive manner - You'll enjoy every moment in LIFE, whether it's *PRESSURE or PLEASURE*

So just Enjoy the PUN and FUN of the English Language.
😀😂😅

Try these English Answers

*When you have nothing better to do*
*Just try answers for these*

 1. If Poison expires; is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
🤔
2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
🤔
3. Do Twins ever realize that one of them is "Unplanned"?
🤔
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
🤔
5. Maybe Oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
🤔
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
🤔
7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims"
🤔
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a Horse and only the rich had Cars. Today everyone has Cars and only the rich own Horses.
🤔
9. If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.


*Still have time for fun..?*
*Let's try this*

Six Great Confusions 
Which are still unresolved
😄😂
1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?

2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge,
but not in refrigerator?

4.  Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
😆😁


Saturday, July 17

Gift to the Enemy

*THE GIFT*

A few years ago, the terrorist organization Hamas, sent a gift to the President of Israel in an elaborate box with a note.

After having the box checked for safety reasons, the President of Israel, Shimon Peres, opened the box and saw that the content was faeces (shit).

He opened the note which said "For you and the proud people of Israel."

Being a wise and experienced person, he decided to reciprocate, sending Hamas a very pretty package and a note.

The leaders of Hamas were very surprised to receive the parcel and opened it very carefully suspecting that it might contain a bomb.
But to their surprise they saw that it contained a tiny computer "chip.

The chip was rechargeable with solar energy, had a 1800 Terabyte memory and could output a 3D hologram display capable of functioning in any type of cellular phone, tablet or laptop.

It was one of the world's most advanced technologies, Invented and produced in Israel.

The accompanying note to the Hamas leaders stated very courteously...
" A leader can give only what his people can produce "

How to deal with insults is one of the best lessons you can learn to lead a better life.

Give your best to your worst enemy and stay blessed forever.
👍🏼👌🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Thursday, July 15

One in 400 Trillion

We are on a rock travelling around 1 of 100billion stars. 
Our species is 1 of over half a billion.
Our chances of being born is 1 of 400 trillion.
Your're not special but you are lucky! 

Saturday, July 10

Wembley Kumbh

Wembley after England entered the Finals of Euro Cup..... 
BBC had called Holi Kumbh (India) as the Assembly of Morons...
So what is this then? Assembly of certified idiots!! 🙄🙄

Saturday, June 19

Friends Unlocked

The city is starting to open....... 
 Come, we will meet in some nook, come by keeping mobile home..... 
We will talk .. 

Saturday, May 29

Survival Tactic : Celestial Weapon

Ashwatthama got furious when his father Drona was killed in the war, as a result of deceit from Pandava camp. As a counter attack he launched "Narayana Astra", the illustrious weapon of Vishnu.

This wreaked great havoc on opponents by making countless weapon rain drop from heavens, until Krishna (god himself) disclosed the secret of surviving it: laying down weapons, do not retaliate & remain calm. As this celestial weapon targeted only armed warriors & ignored unarmed ones.

Krishna added that this super natural weapon was so powerful that if opponent bring in the idea of war to their minds, weapon was receptive to that & will destroy them.

Pandavs quickly followed the survival tactics, with their troops abandoning chariots & getting themselves unarmed.

Impact of Celestial astra gradually passed by with time!
What's next, YES Pandavs rose again & fought the battle & WON !!

Wonderful message here is that:
"Battles are not just about attack & counter attack. Sometimes battles are won just by staying put, being patient & remaining calm."

Friday, May 28

English Vinglish (The Tharoor Farrago)

A quizmaster at a friendly social quiz had a round called "English Vinglish (or The Tharoor Farrago)" in which he gave descriptions of a few popular Hindi songs in bombastic Tharoorese and the participants had to guess the song titles. 

1. Where a crooner repeatedly addresses his paramour expressing in his serenade that blossoms burgeon in gardens when he and she rendezvous in arid wilderness

2. An advertiser beckons those suffering from vertiginous dizziness or depressive melancholy to approach him without trepidation

3. A suitor ruefully claims that a smithereen of a celestial object that is in fenestral juxtaposition with him remains unapproachably aloof

4. Those who apperceive the umbra of amorousness on their capitulum experience paradise beneath their podal extremities, promenading in the shade

5. With an invocation to a behemoth of the dot com era, the protagonist expresses his scant heedfulness for whether he is repeatedly described as lacking civilization, given that he is helplessly entrapped in the whirlwinds of romance

6. Where the protagonist annunciates his cognomen proclaiming his terrestrial solitude and the existence of a vacuum in his cardiac organ as well as his domicile

Guess the 6 Hindi songs.

Monday, May 17

Vaccination of William Shakespeare

😄😄😄 
William Shakespeare came to get vaccinated.

Nurse: Which  arm? 
Shakespeare: _As You Like It_
Nurse: Was that painful? 
Shakespeare: _Much Ado About Nothing_ 
Nurse: You will have to have a second jab. 
Shakespeare: _Measure For Measure_ 
Nurse: So what do you think of the general awareness with regard to Covid?
Shakespeare: _Comedy Of Errors_
Nurse: I heard your wife Anne decided to get vaccinated in the company of her friends?
Shakespeare: _The Merry Wives of Windsor_
Nurse: Did you try convincing her?
Shakespeare: _Love's Labour Lost_
Nurse: Wouldn't she listen to you?
Shakespeare: _A Midsummer Night's Dream_
Nurse: So what happened at the other vaccination centre?
Shakespeare: _The Tempest_
Nurse: But it worked out?
Shakespeare: _The Taming Of The Shrew_
Nurse: So it is okay then?
Shakespeare: _All's Well That Ends Well_ 

Shakespeare:  Will I've any adverse effects?

Nurse:. Wait until _*The Twelfth Night*_ 
🤓😁

Books Comics Collection To Download and Read

Here is bumper collection of books. 




Few like minded souls have collaborated since the lockdown began.....creating a repository of *Comics*, & *Books* 

*Comics*

Amar Chitra Katha (200+), Archie, Asterix (All), Calvin & Hobbs, Commando, Flash Gordon, Lone Ranger, Mad Magazine (10 years), Mandrake, Modesty Blaise (100+), Phantom (50+), Richie Rich, Spiderman (300, Tintin (All), Tom & Jerry ……and more

*Books*

Agatha Christie, Amish Tripathi, Jeffrey Archer, Arthur C Clarke, Ayn Rand, Bill Bryson, Ray Bradbury, English Classics 100+, Clive Cussler, Dean Koontz, Devdutt Pattnaik, Douglas Adams, Enid Blyton, Frederick Forsyth, JK Rowling, John Grisham, John Le Carre, Louis L'amour, Mitrokhin, Perry Mason, PG Wodehouse, Rick Riordan, Robert Ludlum, Sidney Sheldon, Stephen King, Tom Clancy…

.......plus 300 more miscellaneous authors….special focus on Autobiographies, Military & Special Forces, Business & Learning, Food & Drink....

Enjoy, *News&Mags*

Thursday, May 6

Hope is Decision - Believe

During a brutal study at Harvard in the 1950s, Dr. Curt Richter placed rats in a pool of water to test how long they could tread water.

On average they'd give up and sink after 15 minutes. 
But right before they gave up due to exhaustion, the researchers would pluck them out, dry them off, let them rest for a few minutes - and put them back in for a second round.
In this second try - how long do you think they lasted?
Remember - they had just swam until failure only a few short minutes ago...
How long do you think?
Another 15 minutes?
10 minutes?
5 minutes?
No!
60 hours!
That's not an error.

That's right! 60 hours of swimming.
The conclusion drawn was that since the rats BELIEVED that they would eventually be rescued, they could push their bodies way past what they previously thought impossible.

I will leave you with this thought:
If hope can cause exhausted rats to swim for that long, what could a belief in yourself and your abilities, do for you?

So let's inject HOPE in people that this will pass and we can win over situation. 
HOPE IS DECISION!!! 
If we decide not be defeated then we can't get defeated!!! 
So let's inject HOPE in everyone's life!!!

Immunity Booster Herbal Teas -2

Herbal Teas recipes to boost immunity 
Tulsi Tea 
Ginger Tea 
Peppermint Tea

Coca-Cola Bottles

Reinventing the Coca-Cola Bottles over the decades

Sunday, April 25

How To Identify an Indian City in Covid Times

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIES IN INDIA: (COVID Version)

*Scenario 1:* Two guys are fighting as one of them isn't wearing a mask & a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on...🚶
That's MUMBAI..😒

*Scenario 2:* Two guys are fighting on not wearing a mask & a third guy comes along and tries to make peace... And offers to give a mask. The first two get together and beat him up..🔨
That's DELHI.

*Scenario 3:* Two guys fighting over a mask and third guy comes from a nearby house and says "Don't fight in front of my place, go somewhere else." 🏠
That's PUNE.. 😉

*Scenario 4:* Two guys are fighting over a mask. A crowd gathers to watch... A guy comes along and quietly opens a stall selling masks there.
That's AHMEDABAD.😓

*Scenario 5:* Two guys are fighting over a mask. Both of them take time out & call their friends on their mobiles... 📲 Now 50 guys are fighting...
That's PUNJAB.😖

*Scenario 6:* Two guys fighting. Third guy without a mask, comes and shoots both of them.. 
That's Bihar.

*Last Scenario:* Two guys fighting over mask  third guy comes along with a carton of beer... All sit together drink beer and abuse COVID and go home as friends...
You are definitely in GOA..
😁😷🤭😷😄

Saturday, April 24

Quarantine Workout

माथे का पसीना पौछते हुए पति ने पत्नी से कहा: 
*"प्रिये,  एक बात कहनी है ।"*
पत्नी (मोबाइल फोन से बामुश्किल अपनी नजरें उठाते हुए) -
*" हां बोलो ।"*
पति- 
*तुम "झाङू पौंछा बर्तन करने " का मत बोला करो ।*
 बहुत देसी लगता है। 
*इसकी बजाय कहो कि "क्वारेंटाइन वर्क आउट " कर लो।*
 *इससे स्टैंडर्ड और स्वाभिमान बना रहेगा।* 
*आखिर ऑफिस में मैं बॉस हूँ। कुछ तो इज्जत करो। "*

😃🤣😃

काम वही, सोच नयी ....

Tuesday, April 13

Monday, April 12

Just Couldn't Resist - Fryday

He died last Fryday. Thank god he wasn't beaten.
Don't worry, he went over easy.
He's now on the sunny side.
He's definitely on a better plate!

Have Faith for Peace

'Sometimes, simple faith could lead to profound peace.'

Thursday, March 25

Viral Pawri (Party)

Whoever drew this, got it so right!!!

Yeh Hum hain!
Yeh hamarey mutations hain
Aur
Yeh hamari Pawri Ho Rahi Hai!

Wednesday, March 24

Mathematics of Friendship

When a 60 yr olds sits alone they appears their full age. 😒

When two office friends, 60 yrs old come together, then they appear only 30/30. 😁😀

When three college friends, 60 yrs old meet together, then they appear only 20/20/20.🤣😃😄

When 6 school friends, 60yrs old join together, then they appear as 10 year old school children. 😆😉😋🤗😍☺

This is the *Mathematics* of Friendship....
❤️💕

Tuesday, March 16

Beat Speed Limiter

This driver keeps his kid's photograph on the speedometer to keep his speed.

Thursday, February 25

Kids' Point of View

Life is so simple from the point of view of a child.
We make it unnecessarily complicated. 
Even the teacher has given it a Star.

Monday, February 8

Giving & Faith for Better Return Success

*The Abundance Principle*

Once a man got lost in a desert. The water in his flask had run out two days ago, and he was on his last legs. He knew that if he didn't get some water soon, he would surely die. The man saw a small hut ahead of him. He thought it would be a mirage or maybe a hallucination, but having no other option, he moved toward it. As he got closer, he realized it was quite real. So he dragged his tired body to the door with the last of his strength.

The hut was not occupied and seemed like it had been abandoned for quite some time. The man entered into it, hoping against hope that he might find water inside.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw what was in the hut - a water hand pump...... It had a pipe going down through the floor, perhaps tapping a source of water deep under-ground.

He began working the hand pump, but no water came out. He kept at it and still nothing happened. Finally he gave up from exhaustion and frustration. He threw up his hands in despair. It looked as if he was going to die after all.

Then the man noticed a bottle in one corner of the hut. It was filled with water and corked up to prevent evaporation.

He uncorked the bottle and was about to gulp down the sweet life-giving water, when he noticed a piece of paper attached to it. Handwriting on the paper read : "Use this water to start the pump. Don't forget to fill the bottle when you're done."

He had a dilemma. He could follow the instruction and pour the water into the pump, or he could ignore it and just drink the water.

What to do? If he let the water go into the pump, what assurance did he have that it would work? What if the pump malfunctioned? What if the pipe had a leak? What if the underground reservoir had long dried up?

But then... maybe the instruction was correct. Should he risk it? If it turned out to be false, he would be throwing away the last water he would ever see.

Hands trembling, he poured the water into the pump. Then he closed his eyes, said a prayer, and started working the pump.

He heard a gurgling sound, and then water came gushing out, more than he could possibly use. He luxuriated in the cool and refreshing stream. He was going to live!

After drinking his fill and feeling much better, he looked around the hut. He found a pencil and a map of the region. The map showed that he was still far away from civilization, but at least now he knew where he was and which direction to go.

He filled his flask for the journey ahead. He also filled the bottle and put the cork back in. Before leaving the hut, he added his own writing below the instruction: "Believe me, it works!"

This story is all about life. It teaches us that We must GIVE  before We can RECEIVE Abundantly.

More importantly, it also teaches that FAITH plays an important role in GIVING.

The man did not know if his action would be rewarded, but he proceeded regardless.

Without knowing what to expect, he made a Leap of Faith.

Water in this story represents the Good things in Life

Give life some "Water" to Work with, and it will RETURN _far more than you put in_.........!!!

Have an abundant year ahead.

Monday, February 1

Medical humour 😉

Five doctors went on a duck hunt: a GP , a Physician, a radiologist,  a Surgeon & a Pathologist . 

After a while  a bird came winging overhead , the GP raised his shotgun but didn't shoot and said "I think its a duck,but needs a second opinion..so let the physician shoot.."

The Physician also raised his gun and said.."Its a duck..but the other possibilities should be considered such as a hypertrophied sparrow or an atrophied ostrich..."

Radiologist quickly scanned the situation and mumbled.. ".. It can be a duck, a sparrow or an ostrich or even a hen ..however,  Please correlate clinically.."

The surgeon was the only one who shot . Boom !!!!  He blew it away . Then he turned to the pathologist & said  ,  " Go  and confirm whether thats  a  duck ."

The pathologist slowly  approached the bird cooked it and ate it then he said...
"Specimen inadequate..."

Saturday, January 30

Ancient Indian Science

There are temples where sculptures of a Baby in the Womb are found. 

Accurate✔️ position of the baby, as one would find in a Scan!

And the temples are at least 800 Years old.

Chola architecture, Sri Sundara Kamakshi temple at Siru Karumbur.

Scultpures of fertilization, Varamurtheeswarar Temple, Ariyathurai, Tamilnadu

Wednesday, January 20